Can you tell me more? I am curious what’s happening for you.
It looks like something is wrong and I care about you- will you talk with me?
Will you sit on the couch with me? I’d like to hold you while you talk.
How can I help you? I’d love to help you.
Would it help if I rubbed your back, massaged your feet, laid with you in bed for a little bit?
Would it help if I took something off your plate? Made a phone call? Ran an errand? Cooked dinner? Folded the laundry?
Whenever you’re ready, I am here. I love you.
Comforting Words
I am so glad you told me. Thank you.
I don’t mind helping you.
I am right here.
I will do my best to help.
I wish you felt better, too. It makes me sad to see you in pain.
I know how much you want things to go perfect, but I think it will work out well enough.
Things are pretty hard for you, but you usually bounce back with some more sleep, after your busy season, etc….maybe that’s all it will take this time too.
I know this is really complicated and difficult. I will be by your side the entire time.
How can I help? Let me help you do this piece ______.
I wish I could help. If I could make it better I would. What can we do together to take your mind off this?
Validating Words
I know you are trying.
I can see why you did that.
I can see from your perspective why you would feel that way.
I can see how you took it that way.
I know this kind of stuff really stresses you out.
I know you are panicking right now and I wish I could take your worry away.
I am so sorry they hurt you again. I know you’ve been through this before- but it hurts and sucks every time. I wish they treated you better.
I love you because…….
I think you are doing great because…..
Reassurance-Issues About Us
I think we can figure this out if we have more time.
I am glad you told me about this so we can work on it.
I still don’t understand, can you say it again in a different way until I do?
I love you. So much. And I am not going anywhere.
It’s important to me, too, that you feel connected.
Can you tell me what you most need to hear right now?
Is there any relationship books we can read and talk about together?
I am open to couples counseling and making it a priority.
Maybe you forgot what I said before- I can help you with…..
I know you like to plan, but we don’t’ have enough information. I should know more when……How about we talk more when……….Let’s work on the parts we do know……..Tell me what you are thinking you’ll need……Let’s make a general plan, but just remember anything can change.
Anytime
I don’t know what to say- can you tell me again what kinds of things you need to hear? (Then you practice saying them- right now in your own words).
