{"id":3491,"date":"2023-01-19T13:18:22","date_gmt":"2023-01-19T13:18:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/?p=3491"},"modified":"2023-01-19T13:29:14","modified_gmt":"2023-01-19T13:29:14","slug":"comforting-instead-of-fixing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/?p=3491","title":{"rendered":"Comforting Instead of Fixing"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote>\n<h2>Comforting Instead of Fixing<\/h2>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h2 style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Help Opening Up<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>How are you doing? Is everything okay?<\/li>\n<li>Can you tell me more? I am curious what\u2019s happening for you.<\/li>\n<li>It looks like something is wrong and I care about you- will you talk with me?<\/li>\n<li>Will you sit on the couch with me? I\u2019d like to hold you while you talk.<\/li>\n<li>How can I help you? I\u2019d love to help you.<\/li>\n<li>Would it help if I rubbed your back, massaged your feet, laid with you in bed for a little bit?<\/li>\n<li>Would it help if I took something off your plate? Made a phone call? Ran an errand? Cooked dinner? Folded the laundry?<\/li>\n<li>Whenever you\u2019re ready, I am here. I love you.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<h2 style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Comforting Words<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>I am so glad you told me. Thank you.<\/li>\n<li>I don\u2019t mind helping you.<\/li>\n<li>I am right here.<\/li>\n<li>I will do my best to help.<\/li>\n<li>I wish you felt better, too. It makes me sad to see you in pain.<\/li>\n<li>I know how much you want things to go perfect, but I think it will work out well\u00a0<span style=\"font-size: revert;\">enough.<\/span><\/li>\n<li>Things are pretty hard for you, but you usually bounce back with some more\u00a0<span style=\"font-size: revert;\">sleep, after your busy season, etc\u2026.maybe that\u2019s all it will take this time too.<\/span><\/li>\n<li>I know this is really complicated and difficult. I will be by your side the entire time.<\/li>\n<li>How can I help? Let me help you do this piece ______.<\/li>\n<li>I wish I could help. If I could make it better I would. What can we do together to take your mind off this?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<h2 style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Validating Words<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>I know you are trying.<\/li>\n<li>I can see why you did that.<\/li>\n<li>I can see from your perspective why you would feel that way.<\/li>\n<li>I can see how you took it that way.<\/li>\n<li>I know this kind of stuff really stresses you out.<\/li>\n<li>I know you are panicking right now and I wish I could take your worry away.<\/li>\n<li>I am so sorry they hurt you again. I know you\u2019ve been through this before- but it hurts and sucks every time. I wish they treated you better.<\/li>\n<li>I love you because\u2026\u2026.<\/li>\n<li>I think you are doing great because\u2026..<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<h2 style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reassurance-Issues About Us<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>I think we can figure this out if we have more time.<\/li>\n<li>I am glad you told me about this so we can work on it.<\/li>\n<li>I still don\u2019t understand, can you say it again in a different way until I do?<\/li>\n<li>I love you. So much. And I am not going anywhere.<\/li>\n<li>It\u2019s important to me, too, that you feel connected.<\/li>\n<li>Can you tell me what you most need to hear right now?<\/li>\n<li>Is there any relationship books we can read and talk about together?<\/li>\n<li>I am open to couples counseling and making it a priority.<\/li>\n<li>Maybe you forgot what I said before- I can help you with\u2026..<\/li>\n<li>I know you like to plan, but we don\u2019t\u2019 have enough information. I should know\u00a0<span style=\"font-size: revert;\">more when\u2026\u2026How about we talk more when\u2026\u2026\u2026.Let\u2019s work on the parts we do know\u2026\u2026..Tell me what you are thinking you\u2019ll need\u2026\u2026Let\u2019s make a general plan, but just remember anything can change.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<h2 style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anytime<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>I don\u2019t know what to say- can you tell me again what kinds of things you need to\u00a0<span style=\"font-size: revert;\">hear? (Then you practice saying them- right now in your own words).<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Comforting Instead of Fixing Help Opening Up How are you doing? Is everything okay? Can you tell me more? I am curious what\u2019s happening for you. It looks like something <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/?p=3491\">Continue Reading &rarr;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3491"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3491"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3491\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3500,"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3491\/revisions\/3500"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3491"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3491"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3491"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}