{"id":1351,"date":"2022-05-25T13:01:55","date_gmt":"2022-05-25T13:01:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/?page_id=1351"},"modified":"2026-03-05T14:20:30","modified_gmt":"2026-03-05T14:20:30","slug":"flashlights","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/?page_id=1351","title":{"rendered":"Flashlights"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Flashlights<\/h2>\n

Take what you need, leave the rest.<\/strong><\/em><\/h6>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Lessons on Life<\/h2>\n

Conan<\/a><\/p>\n

Joseph Campbell<\/a>\/ Author on Archetypes & Mythology<\/p>\n

Steve Jobs<\/a>\/\u00a0Commencement Speech<\/p>\n

David Foster Wallace<\/a>\/ Commencement Speech<\/p>\n

Scott Galloway<\/a>\/ The Algebra of Happiness<\/p>\n

The School of Life\/ Articles<\/a>\u00a0+\u00a0Videos<\/a><\/p>\n

On Being<\/a>\/ Podcast by Krista Tippett, poetry & more<\/p>\n

Parable\/<\/strong> A long time ago, a poor Chinese farmer lost a horse, and all the neighbors came around and said, \u201cwell that\u2019s too bad.\u201d The farmer said, \u201cmaybe.\u201d Shortly after, the horse returned bringing another horse with him, and all the neighbors came around and said, \u201cwell that\u2019s good fortune,\u201d to which the farmer replied, \u201cmaybe.\u201d The next day, the farmer\u2019s son was trying to tame the new horse and fell, breaking his leg, and all the neighbors came around and said, \u201cwell that\u2019s too bad,\u201d and the farmer replied, \u201cmaybe.\u201d Shortly after, the emperor declared war on a neighboring nation and ordered all able-bodied men to come fight\u2014many died or were badly maimed, but the farmer\u2019s son was unable to fight and spared due to his injury. And all the neighbors came around and said, \u201cwell that\u2019s good fortune,\u201d to which the farmer replied, \u201cmaybe.\u201d And so the story goes.<\/em><\/p>\n

Laura McKowen<\/a>\/ Author<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. It’s not your fault. (e.g. intergenerational trauma handed down to you through your caregivers, trauma that has happened to you, political\/class landscape, lacking enough social infrastructure, unavailable resources, etc)<\/li>\n
  2. It is your responsibility. (Attending to or fixing everything is not- but how you choose to process your experience within your mind and go forward with the choices in your control is.)<\/li>\n
  3. It\u2019s unfair that this is your thing.<\/li>\n
  4. But it is your thing.<\/li>\n
  5. It will never STOP being your thing until you face it.<\/li>\n
  6. And you can\u2019t do it alone.<\/li>\n
  7. But only you can do it.<\/li>\n
  8. I love you. (e.g. your highest self, Unconditional Love, your Higher Power, The Mystery, You Loving You, Life itself, etc)<\/li>\n
  9. I will never stop reminding you of these things.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    don Miguel Ruiz<\/a>\/ Author<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.<\/li>\n
    2. Don’t Take Anything Personally.<\/li>\n
    3. Don’t Make Assumptions.<\/li>\n
    4. Always Do Your Best.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
      \n

      Relationships<\/h2>\n

      Alain de Botton<\/a>\/ “Why Will You Marry the Wrong<\/em> Person”:<\/em> Why staying can be the wisest act<\/p>\n

      Elizabeth Gilbert (Start at 30:15 – End)<\/a>\/ “Emotional Autonomy<\/em>“: Why leaving can be the wisest act \u00a0(This is a clip- click blue box on right to “Watch Full Video” to listen until the end)<\/p>\n

      Esther Perel<\/a>\/ Compilation of three interviews from Lewis Howes’ School of Greatness & host of podcast “Where Should We Begin”<\/p>\n

      Elizabeth Gilbert<\/a>\/ Oprah Interview on Sex & Love Addiction<\/p>\n

      Showtime documentary: “Couples Therapy”<\/a>\/ Led by Dr. Orna Guralnik<\/p>\n

      We Can Do Hard Things<\/a>\/ Podcast by author Glennon Doyle, her sister Amanda Doyle, and her wife Abby Wambach (retired women’s soccer player\/National Hall of Fame)<\/p>\n

      YouTube series: “Group”<\/a>\/ From the work of Dr. Irvin Yalom<\/p>\n

      Brene Brown<\/a>\/ Netflix’s “The Call to Courage<\/em>”<\/p>\n

      The Secure Relationship<\/a>\/ Julie Mennano, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist<\/p>\n

      Shan Boodram<\/a>\/ Certified Sex Educator<\/p>\n

      Melody Beattie\/<\/strong> \u201cYou cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another person\u2019s feelings at the same time.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Dr. Brene Brown\/ <\/strong>\u201cA boundary is the distance where I can love you and myself at the same time.\u00a0<\/em>One of the most shocking findings of my work was the idea that the most compassionate people I have interviewed over the last 13 years\u00a0were also the absolutely most boundaried. The definition of boundary that I use is simply: what’s okay and what’s not okay. When we don’t set boundaries, we let people do things that are not okay or get away with behaviors that are not okay. Then we’re just resentful and hateful.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Excerpt from Caroline Myss & Oprah interview\/<\/strong><\/p>\n

      CAROLINE MYSS: When your life path begins to harm you, you’ve taken a detour.\u00a0<\/em>You know you’re on the right path– here’s your clue: you’re not put in a position to betray yourself. You don’t betray yourself anymore. You’re not put in a position where you feel like you have to negotiate your sense of integrity, which is an act of betrayal. \u00a0You don’t feel like you have to compromise who you are.<\/em><\/h6>\n
      .<\/em><\/h6>\n
      OPRAH: I’ve interviewed a lot of people over the years who are married and everybody talks about how difficult, how it’s work, how a relationship is work.<\/em><\/h6>\n
      .<\/em><\/h6>\n
      CAROLINE: It’s work. It’s work.<\/em><\/h6>\n
      .<\/em><\/h6>\n
      OPRAH: What is the difference between betraying yourself and compromising?<\/em><\/h6>\n
      .<\/h6>\n
      CAROLINE: I’d say that a compromise is when you willingly, willingly and out of love,\u00a0<\/em>say a little this, little that, little this, little that. But in a compromise, you don’t go away feeling like I’ve betrayed myself. I’ve betrayed myself. I’ve allowed myself– I’ve put poison in my mouth here.<\/em><\/h6>\n
      .<\/h6>\n
      Every choice is either going to enhance your spirit or it’s going to drain your spirit.<\/em><\/h6>\n
      .<\/h6>\n
      The number of times someone will say to themselves, I want to get out of this circumstance but I’m too afraid to take care of myself, so I will lie about how happy I am. I will put up a front. I will lie about this. But they’re betraying everything that’s in their heart.<\/em><\/h6>\n
      .<\/h6>\n
      OPRAH: I’ve often thought, having experienced being betrayed by a close member of my family years ago, thinking that was the worst. That there’s nothing worse than being betrayed. And just hearing you talk about it today, I think there’s nothing worse than betraying yourself. That the worst, most ultimate betrayal is the betrayal to yourself.<\/em><\/h6>\n
      .<\/h6>\n
      CAROLINE: You’re right. Yeah. Especially conscious. When you have an opportunity to protect yourself, and you choose otherwise–Oh. Oh, it’s hard. That is hard. It’s brutal. And it’s brutal because it’s you saying to God, saying to the forces, the universal energy, that you’re not worth protecting. And [therefore], you are no different than the people who hurt you.<\/em><\/h6>\n
      .<\/h6>\n
      OPRAH: What is the difference between knowing when to surrender and doing nothing?<\/em><\/h6>\n
      .<\/h6>\n
      CAROLINE: A person has to try. A person has to put their energy into their own life and their own effort. That inner guidance tells us. And when you follow this voice, and you push, this is the part that says you should push and you should do this. So it’s the part that keeps us moving and turning the wheel of our life. It’s also the part that says you’ve done as much as you could now. This is it. You’ve done everything you can. So it’s the part that will say that’s as far as you can go.<\/em><\/h6>\n
      .<\/h6>\n
      OPRAH: The being able to \u2018accept\u2019 lives within the range of doing all that you can do. And when you have done everything that you can do, you surrender it. That’s it. Let it go.<\/em><\/h6>\n
      .<\/h6>\n
      CAROLINE: That’s right. To the power and energy that’s greater than yourself. Give it your all, give it your best. And then not be attached to the outcome.<\/em><\/h6>\n
      \n

      Trauma<\/h2>\n

      Trauma Rewired<\/a>\/ Podcast<\/p>\n

      Tim Ferris <\/a>\/ Podcast episode & Resources<\/p>\n

      \n

      Connections<\/h2>\n

      Mental Health Movement<\/a>\/ Facebook support group & Podcast<\/p>\n

      Camp Widow<\/a><\/p>\n

      MeetUp.com<\/a>\/ Grassroots meetings, clubs, and interests in your community<\/p>\n

      Reddit<\/a>\u00a0&\u00a0Quora<\/a>\/ Wide collection of forums for discussion<\/p>\n

      Pen Pals<\/a>\/ Post Crossings & InterPals & PenPal World for finding general penpals, PenPal.me for a hybrid online and physical postcard experience, and platforms like HelloTalk and Tandem for language exchange partners, and social media groups such as Worldwide Snail Mail Pen Pals on Facebook.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n

      Art<\/h2>\n

      Humans of New York<\/a>\/ Candid snapshots of our shared humanity<\/p>\n

      Louisiana Channel<\/a>\/ Artist interviews<\/p>\n

      Soft White Underbelly<\/a>\/ Interviews of ordinary people<\/p>\n

      Button Poetry<\/a>\/ Spoken word performances<\/p>\n

      Everything is Alive<\/a>\/ Seeing the world anew<\/p>\n

      Em & Friends<\/a>\/ Greeting cards for the tender & hard times<\/p>\n

      \n

      Creativity + Founders<\/h2>\n

      Elizabeth Gilbert\/ <\/a>“Your Elusive Creative Genius<\/em>”<\/p>\n

      Elizabeth Gilbert<\/a>\/ “Success, Failure and the Drive to Keep Creating<\/em>”<\/p>\n

      Tori Amos<\/a>\/ Commencement Speech<\/p>\n

      Sarah Madras<\/a>\/ Brave Leaders Coaching & Podcaster\u00a0“Girls Who Do Stuff”<\/em><\/p>\n

      Fiverr & <\/a>Etsy<\/a>\/\u00a0Marketplace for freelance artists<\/p>\n

      Sqaurespace<\/a>\/ DIY website builder<\/p>\n

      Garage Band for Mac<\/a>\/ DIY music recording<\/p>\n

      Sountrap<\/a>\/ DIY music & podcasting<\/p>\n

      Sound Cloud<\/a>\u00a0& Bandcamp<\/a>\/ Website to upload & share your self-made music<\/p>\n

      Canva<\/a>\/ Design (posters, covers, etc)<\/p>\n

      Scribe<\/a>\/ Create step-by-step tutorials<\/p>\n

      Self-Publishing<\/a>\/\u00a0Custom make, print, sell your own books\/e-books<\/p>\n

      Flown<\/a>\/ Body double with others in virtual co-working sessions designed to beat procrastination and get into flow.<\/p>\n

      Skillshare<\/a>\/ Creative classes taught by creative pros<\/p>\n

      \n

      Selfhood + Identity<\/h2>\n

      Elizabeth Gilbert<\/a>\/ “The Divine Feminine”<\/p>\n

      Elizabeth Gilbert (Start at 7:00 – End)<\/a>\/ “The Art of Being Yourself<\/em>” (This is a clip- click blue box on right to “Watch Full Video” to listen until the end)<\/p>\n

      Elizabeth Gilbert<\/a>\/ “You Are the Most Important Person in Your Life<\/em>”<\/p>\n

      LEADERS\/ Alok<\/a> + Janet Mock<\/a><\/p>\n

      COMMUNITY\/ Equality Florida<\/a>\u00a0+ Metropolitan Community Church of Tampa<\/a> (online services available)<\/p>\n

      ART\/ Will & Harper<\/a> (documentary) + Transparent<\/a> (tv series) +\u00a0Apple’s Visible: Out on Television<\/a> (documentary) + 1946<\/a> (doc on homosexuality & Christianity)<\/p>\n

      FAITH\/ Monte Madar Bible Study Classes<\/a>\/ Monte challenges her \u201cCoven of Curiosity\u201d to ask questions, challenge dogma and rhetoric specifically when it\u2019s weaponized towards others. Monte was raised as an alt right Christian Nationalist under Republican politicians. She now uses her experiences in Christian fundamentalism, nationalism and theocratic politics to deconstruct religious dogma and white-washed American history.<\/p>\n

      \n

      Death + Dying<\/h2>\n

      Andrea Gibson<\/a>\/ Spoken word poet who lives in Infinity now<\/p>\n

      Before I Go<\/a>\/ Death Doula Alissa Hopkins<\/p>\n

      The Sterling Rose Sanctuary<\/a> & Mary Lopusnak<\/a>\/ Individual counseling<\/p>\n

      Compassionate Friends<\/a> & Grief Share<\/a> & Hospice\/ Group counseling<\/p>\n

      Lap of Love<\/a>\/ Resources for pet deaths<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Flashlights Take what you need, leave the rest. Lessons on Life Conan Joseph Campbell\/ Author on Archetypes & Mythology Steve Jobs\/\u00a0Commencement Speech David Foster Wallace\/ Commencement Speech Scott Galloway\/ The Continue Reading →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1351"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1351"}],"version-history":[{"count":198,"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1351\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5364,"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1351\/revisions\/5364"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessicadeeb.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1351"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}